Monday, March 31, 2008

Here we go...

Whew... I gave Morrisa her first injection of Lupron this morning. This is the first injection I have ever given her. During our IUI's I always let her do the injections, but since I am going to be the one giving her the inter-muscular injections we thought it would be best if I get used to giving her injections. Once I got past my fear of doing something wrong and hurting her it was a breeze. I say that now because these needles are small SubQ shots. We'll see how the bigger ones go when we get there. With the IUI's I was the one mixing or dialing up the dosage and she would inject and that was fine with me, and I still felt like I was a part of the whole process. Although I must say giving the injections myself I feel even more a part of the whole thing. It's weird to say this but I'm looking forward to shooting her up some more.

Today is the beginning of a very busy week. Sunday I turn 30 and Saturday as most of you have heard my wife and mother are throwing a party. So we have relatives coming from out of town and staying with us so we have to prepare for that. On top of all of this my grandfather who had a good week last week had a bad day yesterday so we still have his health to worry about. I can't wait until March is over with!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Will Friday Ever Get Here?

It seems as though Thursday just doesn't want to end. I don't know if it's because my job requires me to always look at the clock or if it's because the area I'm in has no windows. Is this what doing time in prison feels like? I mean I am surrounded by crazy people all day long and have to watch my back because I don't know who's coming up behind me or what the have in their hands. Today for instance someone in the lab thought it would be fun to stretch the hose into our area and attempt to soak someone. Real smart considering the computer equipment we have.
Speaking of time moving slow, it seems as though Morrisa has been on BCP forever now. I know it hasn't been that long since she started taking them but I've always been an impatient person when it comes to something that I'm excited about. Although I have become a more patient person thanks to the infertility. How's that for finding something good out of something that has caused so much emotional and physical pain not only to the two of us but those close to us. Well the physical pain has been endured by my lovely wife, what a trooper!
My grandfather has been home since Monday and hasn't been sleeping well and it is really showing. My parents live right next door and can see in through their kitchen window and into their living room where his hospital bed is setup. My mom said that last night they kept glancing over and everytime they did they saw my grandmother standing watching him sleep. So dad went over to talk to her to take her mind off things. She's taking everything so hard and understandably so. They have been married for 60 years. She's also been having trouble with her memory lately which is adding to the stress of the family. We're hoping and praying that she doesn't have the beginnings of Alzheimer's. Her mother had it and I know she's always worried about having it herself. I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. It means a lot to have support out there.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Look what the Easter Bunny left!

I thought that I would give a quick peek as to what the Easter Bunny left us.

I also thought I would post a picture I took of the inter-muscular needles. We are so used to seeing the subQ needles that these were a shock! I'm glad it's not me getting the shots. Sorry babe!

Yes that's a quarter, and no this isn't the mixing tip!!!

Sorry for the delay...

Wow!!! Sorry for not posting sooner. Things have been a little crazy at work and I haven't had anytime in the evening to write anything because we've been going to the hospital. Friday I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up our meds for IVF. The woman behind the counter put a couple things down and I was thinking "huh, that's not all that bad." She proceeded to make a couple trips back to the counter each trip bringing more and more and more items. Luckily Morrisa called ahead of time and we knew going in how much it all cost, because if not I probably would have turned around and ran. It wasn't bad though. The total bill came out to $1075, and the majority of that was the Follistim which for the 3 viles of 600IU totaled $775. Thankfully our insurance covered half if not more on all of our meds, because if not it would have been a lot more. Now the excitement is really building in anticipation to stop taking the birth control (my wife that is, not me) and start some of these other medications. I tell you though I'm not looking forward to her taking the Lupron because of the side effects that she has mentioned to me. Hopefully she won't have the side effects that she has told me about like the crazy mood swings, because if so I might seek refuge at my parents house for a week or so. Since my last post we went in on Wednesday for our mock transfer and our doctor said all looks good. I thought it was pretty cool. We've seen the sonograms that show her uterus and ovaries before and we're used to seeing the same views, but to see our doctor insert saline in her uterus was pretty cool.
None IVF news. My grandfather is coming home from the hospital today. Due to his non-Hodgkin's lymphoma his body is fighting and killing off all of his platelets leaving his body without red or white blood cells. Last we heard before he went to ICU was that his platelet count went up with his intial transfusion but continued to drop since. I'm not sure if those numbers have been holding steady or if they went up, but he said that he wants to come home because there is something he wants to do before he passes. Nobody has any knowledge what this is that he wants to do but as long as he is comfortable we all respect his wishes. We went to be with him yesterday and his spirits haven't been down the whole time he was in the hospital. He's been his normal self joking around with us and the nurses. So we'll see how the week goes.
Other exciting news for me at least is that softball season is about to start back up. Usually in the spring I will play on a coed team at church and an all mens team, but this season I may be playing on an additional team which would have me out of the house for 3 days out of the week. So we'll see if Morrisa is alright with this. :)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Aww man it's only Tuesday?!?!?

Good morning all!! It's Tuesday and I'm still wondering where the weekend went. The weekend was good and bad. Good because it was pretty relaxing and I got to spend time with my awesome wife. It ended bad with us having to send my grandfather to the hospital. He's 84 and has had his share of medical issues. He's had a couple bypass surgeries and was diagnosed with non Hodgkin's lymphoma which which was in remission, but we kind of think it's back and they just aren't telling us. On top of all this he has a lung disease which nobody can say they call it Mac for short, anyway he's on oxygen due to this and was having trouble breathing on Sunday. I kind of get the feeling he kind of knows something is going to happen to him because he wrote out instructions for everyone as to what to do when he passes. He has always said that he isn't afraid to pass because he is at a point in his faith that he knows where he's going, and I truly admire that strong of faith but it still doesn't make it any easier. It's tough to see the two strongest men I've grown up admiring, that being my grandfather and dad go through this.
IVF news: Morrisa is still taking birth control pills (BCP) which is making her feel sick. I feel so bad for her because before it was the Metformin that was making feel sick and now add the BCP's on top of that. Hopefully her body will adjust and she won't have to deal with these side effects. We go in tomorrow for our mock embryo transfer at 8:30. I'm kinda excited because to me it's another step toward the real transfer. Like always I'm going into this very hopeful, but that's me always being the optimistic one. I know Morrisa is also excited but has some her fears which are valid, but it's also her way of preparing for what ever the outcome is. I completely understand how she feels.
Well I gotta run for now.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Gentlemen Start Your Engines!

I can't even express how happy I am that Friday is finally here. This past week at work has been crazy to say the least. Anyway we got our protocol yesterday, but I was swamped at work and couldn't get around to posting. My wife started taking birth control yesterday, and she will be taking Lupron, Follistim, and Menopur. We were both expecting her to be on Gonal F only because we have seen most people on Gonal F for IVF. Our thought is that because she responded to the Follistim when we did our IUI our doctor prefers this over the other, but whatever he knows better right? We were also told that usually with IVF the monitor every other day, but they are going to monitor my wife every day because of her "very polycystic ovaries". This was news us because they've never told us anything other than she was the classic case for PCOS. This added to my wife's fears of over stimulating or not stimulating at all but we both trust our doctor and have to just leave it in Gods hands that everything will go well. Morrisa is feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything right now, and I know she is cautiously excited to start. I'm excited and very optimistic. Maybe that's just me because I try not to go into anything thinking anything but positive. All we can do is do what the doctor tells us and leave everything to God. Here are our estimated dates for this cycle:
3/13-4/2: Take BCPs
3/31: Start Lurpon
4/8: b/w & u/s and start stims
4/19: Egg retrieval
4/22: 3 day transfer or 4/24 5d day transfer

This weekend we are singing which is exciting. I was talking with one of the youth in our church last night about getting his band to play for a contemporary service a few of us are planning. Not to ramble on too much but I have signed up for a course for "Laity Ministry" the conference is offering which would allow me to preach and do weddings,funerals, and so on in the church. They haven't set a date on when this course is starting but I can't wait. I'm going to find a way to post sermons I have done so anyone can access them.
Hopefully once the clock hits 4:45 and I can leave, time will slow down and the weekend doesn't fly by like it always seem to do.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Some Fun Debating!

So my wife and mom are in the middle of planning my 30th birthday bash that is quickly approaching. April 6th is my B-Day and we're having a big party on the 5th. With all this planning and talk of my birthday it has brought up a debate that I've been having with my wife and parents. This debate has now spread throughout the family and a few friends. It doesn't have to do with anything bad or is anything that causes any drama it's just something fun. You see when my wife asked what decade I wanted my party theme to be the 70's or 80's? I responded 70's because I was a 70's child. This is where the debate comes in and has been for quite a while before this party by the way. I was informed that I wasn't a 70's child because I was born in '78 and grew up in the 80's. So therefor my party should be an 80's theme. My argument is that I wasn't born in the 80's so having an 80's theme wouldn't be correct, and yes I was technically a child in the 80's but I was also a child in the 70's. Anyway I get my way because it's my birthday and it will be a 70's theme. Woo-Hoo!!
On the infertility front AF has finally visited my wife. For those not up to date with code words she has her period. When we started infertility treatments my wife all of a sudden used these abbreviated code words and I would just stare at her not knowing what in the world she was saying. LOL It was like this secret foreign language that only her and her friends knew. Anyway we're finally starting our IVF journey. She called this morning and her nurse will call back with her protocol so I will keep everyone up to date as soon as we hear something.

Friday, March 7, 2008

We run the Ritz for cats!

I'm convinced that our cats think that they live in the Ritz for cats. On a daily basis I am awakened by the sound of either things hitting the floor or the blinds hitting the window. Usually this happens around 3AM! We have tried to ignore them and they just get louder and find bigger things to push off the dresser or night stands. So I have resorted to getting up at 3, feeding them and then resuming my sleep for 3 more hours on the couch. If I don't they keep us both up. Our younger cat uses the litter box no problem, except for the fact that she doesn't think she needs to cover what she just left behind. I guess she figures it smells too bad, well guess what it does! She bolts out of the room and down the hall. So who gets to cover this pleasant little present. You guessed it! It's my job to handle the litter box. :) A job I love by the way. They only eat one type of food and have so many toys they have their own toy basket that they always dig through. Spoiled I know but we love them.
I'm so glad it's Friday, I thought today would never come. On top of that we don't have anything planned other than relaxing and probably cleaning the house. My cousins are coming to visit the family for the weekend, but other than that we finally get to relax. Hopefully my wife can get over her cold and enjoy the weekend without coughing up a lung.
On the IVF front we're still waiting for AF so she can start taking birth control. It made no sense to me at first WHY she has to be on birth control when we're trying to have a baby, but it makes more sense now. It keeps everything calm and quiet so when they start the meds they a better response. I think. :) I'm anxious to finally start the IVF process. We have waited for this for so long. Right now I'm very optimistic, and my wife will tell you that I'm always the optimistic one in the relationship. No matter what the situation even if there was a 98% chance of something not happening, I'm still holding onto that 2% and in my head theres still a chance. With that said though I know when we finally start that optimism slowly turns to a cautious optimism, and then the worrying and stress really begins.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

My Turn

So for the longest time now I have sat back and let my wife do all of the talking (and I've learned it's best that way), but she's been blogging for a while and I figured I should give it a try. I've searched around and noticed that there's not a lot of guys blogging about their journey through infertility. That's probably because most of us don't like to share our feelings, but I hope I can help change that however that may be.
Let's go back and I'll fill you in on our situation. I'm about to turn 30 and my amazing wife is 27. We've been married for 5 almost 6 wonderful years and have been TTC (Trying To Conceive) since our honeymoon. After a couple of months my wife was diagnosed with PCOS. We've tried Clomid and then a combination of Clomid and Metformin to help her ovulate on her own and neither seemed to work. After a couple months of this we moved on to several cycles of clomid/IUI and Femara/IUI only to ovulate three times. RE recommended moving straight to IVF. That's where the fun began. We've already had numerous battles with our lovely insurance company, and they wanted us to do blood work in order to approve IVF. We've already done this numerous times with them but went along with it. We did the lab work and received a lovely bill for $1600 and a letter denying our IVF referral. I was so happy that they made us do the tests only to deny us, but what are you to do? They wanted us to do at least 2 cycles of injectables/IUI. Our doctor wasn't too happy about this but went along with the program and we went through our cycle of injectables/IUI. 1st cycle didn't work and we then had to sit out and wait due to 2 4cm ovarian cysts. While we were waiting insurance company finally gives us the news we have been waiting for, that they will approve our referral for IVF. We go back in to do day 3 blood work for IVF and get news that the beta came back at 9 and that it was likely a chemical pregnancy. We went back in 2 days later and the beta came back at 0 confirming chemical preganancy. This bring us to today.
Right now we are waiting for her day 3 to arrive to start the IVF process. I apologize for rushing through our treatment history but didn't want to write 5 years worth in detail especially since I'm supposed to be working.